there are names across the sea,
only now I do believe 
sometimes, with the windows closed,
she’ll sit and think of me
                 ~i&w

i am sure that this is not needed by anyone other than me.  i was sitting at my desk at school reading and stealing bits of fig newtons that i have trapped in a glass jar.  there was a faint noise behind me that was growing louder.  i swirled my tea (afraid that the taste might linger at the bottom, or just mu unnatural fear of drinking a still liquid) and turned around.  then it hit me, metaphorically speaking, because i was alone in the room.  it was the thought of reading outside in the rain.  

i love precipitation of all kinds and long for it on most days when i am surrounded by the rays and warmth of the sun.  perhaps i appreciate the blessing the rain is; for the sun is a blessing, yes, but it alone cannot provide growth.  the blessing of precipiation is oft used when describing the worst of days or, indeed, tragedies.

but i think i would like laminated versions of books.  or laminated pages of excellent works of poetry.  most, if not all, books would do well to stay out of the rain.  their are of course, many books we would all like to see in the rain.  i shall not list the ones i would like to leave out as i would not have time to respond to the writers of their incredulous comments informing me that i am being biased in my choosing.  but let’s face it, there is truly horrible literature out there that is doing nothing but taking up space in a library shelf and taking away paper that might ought be used for good literature instead.

now i need to find a way to write in the rain.  outside of a chisel and stone i do not know how just yet.  waterproof ink is all well and good, minus the paper bit.  i could not use clay tablets either.  anyway i prefer writing with a quill.  a quill and wet paper go together like a cauldron on fire.  it would need to remain legible, only to me of course; i am not in the habit of sharing my writings.  in fact sometimes i reread what it is in my journal and wonder what moron wrote some of the crap in there, and how they managed to mimic my handwriting.  i hope i catch him.

i was recently reading how microsoft is to spend millions for advertising.  one statement that really caught my attention was their claim that with apple it is either, ‘the iway or the highway.’  that statement is quite funny to me.  let’s find out why…

microsoft has long claimed that apple is a closed system that forces you do buy everything apple, that users are locked in, forced with no other choice.  really?  let us look at an mp3 player called the ipod.  anyone can own one- even pc users.  the only ‘locked in’ part is attributed to the fact that only itunes can put music on your ipod.  microsoft made many statements letting people know that  you are forced into one apple program.

now what about another mp3 player, the zune.  where as itunes can transfer tracks, movies, photos and notes from your pc or mac to your ipod- this can only be done on a pc with the zune.  who is really locking you in?  the only way to do this on a mac is by getting an intel based mac and installing windows on it.  again- locking  you in, right?  seems a little hypocritical.  

on an intel mac you can choose the os x operating system, xp or vista, or both.  how many microsoft platforms allow you to install another operating system?  oh, that’s right-  none.  does that  mean you are locked in?  apple currently makes safari, itunes and quicktime for pc as a free download, and microsoft makes internet explorer and media player for mac for free too.  more pc users are using itunes then mac users using media player, though.  apple asked micorsoft to work together to put ms office on the mac, however, i do not know of iwork going onto the pc.  who is locking users in?  

it seems that microsoft is ‘allowed’ to lock it’s users in, but when people start changing their minds then it is a no holds bars of untruthful (and hypocritical) statements and doublespeak.  microsoft still has the larger group of followers, not apple.  

i think, though, that the reason people are switching is because of ease.  ms is not hard to use- but it does look a little 1980.  in fact, a friend of mine, a ms computer programer said it is all based on the old system- nothing new.  the .dll folder gets larger and larger.  he said that there is nothing new, just make new things work the old way.  apple tries to make new things and new and better ways to do it.  and vista home selling for $239 at best buy is pricey, and vista ulitmate for $319 is even steeper- and this is after the price drop.  but then you can get mac os X for 139.  there is no home, better home, business, better business and ultimate.  

for me it is ease of use and the simplicity.  i never have to defragment and finder does not look like a joke like explorer does and the slot load optical drive.  and mac must be doing something right, dell is now doing the backlit keys and all in one units.  if they thought that apple was a joke and not worth it- then why are they copying the innovation?

let your legs loll on the lino
’til your sinews spoil.
will you stay here for a while, dear,
’til the radio plays something familiar?
plays something familiar.

~the decemberist

tons of funny things have come up during the democratic nominee elections and caucuses.  i particularly like the sniper fire story.  that is what we need at 3 am right?  if hillary is afraid of fake sniper fire- who the heck knows what she will do when there is a real emergency.  

but then, we need to pay attention to obama’s church leader.  can you really say that you never knew that your pastor was a part of the black church theology?  it just seems a little hard to believe that he never heard anything like that before.

oh, and then back to hillary.  she was quoted as saying that some say that she should have given up because obama is in the lead.  but she said the same exact thing when she was in the lead- that obama should just concede that she has won.  rather funny stuff- in my opinion. 

i have also thought about the way that we live in an oligarchy.  all of these candidates are fairly well off.  if not really well off.  the poorer candidate seems to always loose out.  i also wonder if obama and hillary actually would have both ran for president if we were not in the situation we are in.  it seems that most people i talk to do not want to have another republican president.  apparently they are all george bush and/or dick cheney like.  above the law, if you follow me.  cheney shoots his friend and bush goes to war without the UN.  but democrats want to raise taxes and legalize everything that will make america like all the other countries in the world.  

i agree- pay off the debt that we are in, take a ton of money from cheney’s company and send bush to live with the saudi’s.  but can we not still be america and become great again?  i do not think that letting aliens in easier and paying for the ones we have is worth it.  no- i say, if the mexican triathlon olympians want to show off their might by running/swimming/digging/bounding/what have you, then give them a jersey and send them on their way back.  at the same time tell the money spending spoiled youth of america to get off their lazy asses and work.  i have been to many colleges to know that american students do typically half ass work while at the same time tending to their drinking binge.  most american kids want a decent or great paying job right off the bat without working for it.  

if we want america to be great again- we need to get off our asses.  if people from other countries work their asses off at university to come over here and beat other americans to the good jobs- then so be it.  it is not their fault most americans are ok with sub-par work.  though at the same time- the american government should do its best to lower the cost university.  it is highly annoying to go to a good school and pay a ton of your good salary to pay for it.  though if i paid the taxes that some of the european countries, which helps pay for school, is it worth it?  

i’m alive and nearly died over you
i thank my lucky stars that i’m still breathing
and are you sure, ’cause i can take some more

~huges and wagner

yes, i have more. much more. i cannot stop. and too bad i get paid while i am pulling them. how many people have a job where you get to pull some weird ass pranks and get paid for it? actually- in whole honesty- i have the highest productivity of everyone in my department at work. which makes me wonder how the other people in my department even have a job. but that’s another story for another time.

for this prank i was told that there was some extra green cheque stock that should be used before anyone went to use the other scrap paper that we have. BIG MISTAKE. especially since my boss just won employee of the year. turns out that was the only day so far that i did not eat my lunch- because i was to busy pranking. here is the aftermath:

there is a car under there, i promise.

i cannot believe i get away with this crap.

no half ass jobs allowed- if you are going to prank- do it right!

and as you can imagine- he came back into the office and looked around at likely suspects. i, naturally was not around- i was hiding in a different department.

should have been home by now
should never have gone
turning the wheel – turn it upside down
you should be free by now
it should have been me.

~hughes and wagner

yes, it has been quite some time. but i am ready to get going on this again. much have happened- especially at work. here’s the low down:

i pull pranks almost everyday at work. everybody finds them hilarious- even when it happens to them. my favorite was the national geographic nudy pics. i had a girl buy me a nudy mag (this is because i do not have any, and would never buy one- mostly because i am a little bashful). i cut out some of the images of nude girls and then put on their heads pictures of animals from national geographic. then i would mail them to a co-worker, because that is something that i would do. i did six total; this one is my favorite:

now, some people would feel frightened to get this in the mail, most would find it odd. i would laugh my butt off, as did the woman who received it. i do have a knack at finding what people find funny.

way to go me, i say, way to go me.

and sara told the friendly salesman that:
“you’ll all die in your cars,
and why’s it gotta be dark?
and you’re all working in a submarine”

~ben folds

great news!  for some reason, i am not in training at work.  they put me on the ‘floor’ where i do financial things (i am not allowed to disclose- it was in the form i signed).  but since i am not in training- i am doing hands on stuff.  that will make training way more fun.  plus i am meeting the people i will be working with, helping out and such.

now the envy part.  i have a sizable plant hanging from the ceiling on some wires.  everyone else has nothing.  some people have brought in tiny plants or plastic.  who needs a window when i can pretend i am doing office work in some tarzan remake.  too bad i can scream and swing from vines- that my friends would be an awesome job.

to-day while i was scanning and stamping in triplicates, someone said something about some person being gay.  i honestly did not catch the name- but i felt that i would throw out a fun comment.  “that guy- no way.  he may be claustrophobic, but not so claustrophobic that he is ready to come out of the closet.”

later there was an ice-cream party.  woot de la woot.  it was a good day to-day in the office.

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the pipe reminds me of chaplain russel who used to call me pip. what fun. i called him chappy once. that night he threw me into four guys walking behind us in pearce hall. what a guy.

after i was done watching spiderman 3, i walked to the tram stop so that i could hop on my tram and let it make my way home. on my way i ran into a man who was professionally dressed, that is to say he was wearing a suit, and who was professionally drunk. he was trying to catch my attention. i told him that i do not speak much czech- but he assured me that he spoke american. i know- i did not bother telling him that it is english.

he was a nice enough guy, but he was a bit too drunk for my attention- until he started to yell. he said, ‘my friend we must crush the communists!’ i told him i thought that they were all gone. he put his hands on my shoulders and told me that he needs to make me understand that at any time we must crush the communists. i agreed, because i was not really wanting to hear him yell about. i saw my tram and told him that i needed to get going.

i missed that tram because the stop was a bit farther than i thought it was going to be. but i knew that there would be another one in due time. as i waited for number twenty-two, number nine showed up. the doors open, like they do, people got off, the doors closed. a girl came running up and tried pushing the doors frantically. (i have been told that the trams stop at midnight- and it was about 23:45, i was doubtful that number nine would come again until morning.) so i gave the door a really hard hit on the hinges and it flew open. i do not think that it is common place for them to do so as i judge the wide-eyed stares from the people on the tram, people at the stop waiting for other trams, and the girl who quickly turned at me, hopped on the tram and smiled awkwardly. just trying to help.

and now to spiderman 3. they were trying to cram too much in too little time. and if you know the comic- the venom suit makes peter parker a bit of a jerk. in the movie he seemed really pissed off all of the time when he had the suit. but i would have been pissed off too- see his haircut was atrocious when he was ‘bad ass’ peter parker. i would have gotten rid of that suit as soon as i could if i knew it was going to turn my hair into the worse style imaginable.

you will know it’s me
just enough to see the sun
i’m holding your hands
~t de a

to-day was a great day. i met some damn sammys living her in the czech republic. i was invited to their get together. apparently this tuesday marked a holiday. most people had off from work. lukas said that it is something about burning witches. right…

well, we went to dejvicka, and not far from there was a great park. oddly enough just a short walk away from a macdonald’s. kind of odd. even more odd was that morgan spurlock was chowing down on a big mac. but, hey- come on, sometimes you just have to.

we threw the football around, which might have made us stand out as americans. well, that or the frisbee. and if those items did not catch the attention of the czech people- our baseball game did. some people just sat and watched. it was fun- we just kept taking turns until everyone had hit a few balls.

so… then it was my turn. i love baseball. not so much on t.v., but i love playing it. i have an ability to crush the ball. it was home-run after home-run. boy do i love hitting things. i mean playing baseball… nice save.

and i got a job contact. a very nice guy gave me his email so that i could give him my cv so that he could see if his company would like to hire another american. it would be swell if they did. nothing says, ‘i’m staying,’ like a job. well, i could think of a few ways. and this guy would help me. or this guy. i mean, really- orko could sell anything. by the way- what the hell is orko? anyone?

well, all this old cartoon stuff is making me want to download an episode of bananas in pajamas.

that’s right- what of it?

first- i updated my profile. you can click on it if you want- no huge change. just minuscule ones. and a funny one.

i had my first czech lesson to-day. it was pretty good i think. my tutor says i am clever. that makes me feel good. she said that i will be speaking czech in no time. which sounds great to me- because all i hear is how hard this language is. once i get the hang of reading the newspaper, i will be fine.

i played a great game to-day. i played it in two, one hour spurts. and i beat it too. it is quite fun. i made a few good puzzles myself. here is that game. nah, just kidding, that is a picture of a gnome. this is that game (for realsies). it is for mac and pc.

stef bought herself (ourselves?) a web cam. no- we are not the horny naked people on the internet doing what probably should not be done. we stay normally clothed. which if you do not know me, means i do not have a shirt on. and if you do not know her- her clothes are still on. i already purchased the isight a while ago. and now i have a great reason to use it. long distance relationships work better when you can see the person. i think.