be this sunset one for keeping
this june bug street sings low and lovely
those band-aid children
chased your dog away
she runs, returning, sun still sinking

iron and wine

but in a very friggin funny way. some of you will not find this funny- and that is ok. but some of you will know this is a very billiam thing to do. so… there is this girl that i am not particularly fond of at work, for multiple reasons. i have tried several times to be nice and such- but it just does not work. oil and water, mario and bowser, hydrogen and the hindenberg- you get the picture. everytime i am nice to her something bad happens. she instantly accuses me for every last thing that happens at work, butts into every one of my conversations (typically negatively), complaining that she is hungry “when is lunch?” (the same time as yesterday, oinky), and generally being annoying.

after my monkey prank, which was pure genius, i was sent an inter-company email by her. it said, “i would watch out who you prank- these things always come back 3×3.” i will admit- i do not know what the hell that means, but i do know that she is now top of my prank list- poor little piggy never stood a chance.

so, what did i do? first i replaced her unecissary number of paper clips with push pins. that might not seem significant to you, but it was a giant ordeal for her. then i rummaged through my cubicle neighbor for oinky’s phone number. and then i got to work.

i placed an add on a website to sell her car. i had an amazing back story: i come from a rather well-to-do family. for college they bought me a car. rather recently i began seeing a guy from ecuador, and things are really taking off. so i am off to south america. the big problem is that since carlos, my parents have not been so supportive, we have stopped talking to each other. They have stated that they will no longer help me financially if i decide to stay with carlos, therefore i am selling my car cheap. there is no scratches or dents. serious buyers only- no lookers. $3500.”

well, i left her telephone number instead of an email address. so, since 6 am that morning she was receiving many phone calls. 3×3, get out of here.